Do We Have It All Wrong?

What if our understanding of what meditation is about is all wrong?

What if we have it backwards?

What if we are using mindfulness of the breath as an object just to hold our attention until we get distracted, and the distraction is really what we are looking for in our practice?

If this were the case, our attitude toward ‘success’ in meditation would be completely turned around. We would all be great meditators! Wouldn’t we?

Well, if you are distracted often during your meditation practice, then congratulations! You are a good meditator. If we were never distracted from anything we put our mind to, we would not need to practice meditation. We would have achieved that calm, focused mind that could be fully applied to any situation with laser like intensity.

Not the case for most of us, me included!

Here are some words on this topic from Bhante Vimalaramsi:

Every time you let go of a distraction or make a wish for your happiness, relax the tightness caused by mind’s movement, and redirect your tranquil attention back to the feeling of being happy, you are strengthening your mindfulness (awareness). So please don’t criticize yourself because you think that you “should” do better, or that your thoughts, sensations and emotional feelings are the enemy to be squashed and destroyed.

These kinds of critical, hard-hearted thoughts and feelings contain aversion, and aversion is the opposite of the practice of “Loving-Acceptance.” Loving-Kindness and Loving-Acceptance are different words that say basically the same thing. So please be kind to yourself. Make this a fun kind of game to play with, not of an enemy to fight with.

So, we do need to practice. But we need to recognize and understand that the distractions are just part of the process. They are not something we need to get rid of. Our suffering comes from resisting distractions or trying to push them away. If use a lot of mental effort, that can work, but only for a while. The distractions always return

The way to deal with distractions is to soften around them; give them space and relax body, heart, and mind around any tension that is present. Then you can smile and return your object of meditation (the breath, loving-kindness, or your field of care) and be with that object with a relaxed and gentle presence. Eventually, this will be succeed and you will find another distraction. Great!

Only by relaxing into our distractions will we soften them and let them dissolve in their own way.