Forgiveness – Self & Others

I watched an interview with Malaysian action star and actress Michelle Yeoh who often performs her own stunts. Each morning, starting in bed, she does a stretching routine, and then follows up with a dance and martial arts move sequence before she begins each day. However, what I found unusual and touching was, that before she begins her routine, she asks forgiveness from her body for all that she has put it through in her career and all that she will put it through in the coming day; acknowledging all the pain and injury that her body has suffered to help her achieve her status as an acclaimed actress and movie star.

Most of the time we think Forgiveness is something we do for “others,” not for ourselves. However, forgiving ourselves can be part of a path to resolving guilt and regret. We often feel these emotions clinging to us or hanging on in our minds for days, weeks, months, even years sometimes. Releasing these feelings of guilt and regret can leave us with a sense of lightness and joy that we can bring into all our activities and relationships.

Here is a short meditation on Forgiveness from Doug Kraft, using the words suggested by Insight Meditation Teacher Jack Kornfield. These meditations can be repeated as often as you need. Say to yourself:

There are many ways that I have hurt and harmed others, have betrayed or abandoned them, caused them suffering, knowingly or unknowingly, out of my pain, fear, anger and confusion.

Let yourself remember and visualize the ways you have hurt others. See the pain you have caused out of your own fear and confusion. Feel your own sorrow and regret. Sense that finally you can release this burden and ask for forgiveness. Take as much time as you need to picture each memory that still burdens your heart. And then as each person comes to mind, gently say:

I ask for your forgiveness, I ask for your forgiveness.

…Then continue with yourself:

Just as I have caused suffering to others, there are many ways that I have hurt and harmed myself. I have betrayed or abandoned myself many times in thought, word, or deed, knowingly or unknowingly.

Feel your own precious body and life. Let yourself see the ways you have hurt or harmed yourself. Picture them, remember them. Feel the sorrow you have carried from this and sense that you can release these burdens. Extend forgiveness for each act of harm, one by one. Repeat to yourself:

For the ways I have hurt myself through action or inaction, out of fear, pain, and confusion, I now extend full and heartfelt forgiveness. I forgive myself, I forgive myself.

The person whose love we need most is our own. To love ourselves does not mean that all the things we did or didn’t do are okay. It just means that we forgive ourselves. Forgiveness performs an alchemy whereby remorse is transmuted into wisdom.