Handshake Practice

One of the most powerful practices that I have learned, and that we use in our practice, is called Handshake Practice, developed by Tsoknyi Rinpoche, a Tibetan Lama. We know it in our regular practices as Compassionate Presence to Feelings. This practice is a way to open the channel between the mind and our world of feelings. This practice can benefit us at any level of your practice

The “Handshake,” as Rinpoche calls it, is between our awareness and our feelings. It is a metaphor for the stance we take, for how we can meet our beautiful monsters [his term for our difficult emotions]. It is a meeting with full awareness, on equal terms. We are fully present and accepting of whatever arises; not looking to suppress what arises; not looking to push it away; and not looking to engage the storyline of why we feel that way. Simply present to what is arising with a sense of presence and compassion, as if this were a good friend who has come to visit.

Our minds have been pushing away or holding down our feelings and emotions for a long time. Now we are just extending our hand. Not running away, not fighting, just meeting.

…Essentially, handshake practice is to be fully aware of whatever is in you, especially feelings. If they have a story to tell, we just listen. I feel this practice of handshake is very important in these modern times, and has the potential to deeply heal us.

…Understanding the theory behind the handshake helps us because we can see why we need to work on our distorted beliefs and attitudes in order to have real transformation.

…But reading about and contemplating these ideas won’t change much. We need to face our beautiful monsters.

We have always had an element of this practice present in all that we do during our practice: that sense of being present with compassion and acceptance of current our experience, just as it is. And, we need to practice this “stance” to be able to work with our feelings, both in meditation and in our daily lives.