Impermanence II

This week, many of my friends and family are, let’s say, saddened by the results of the recent election. On the flip side, many of my friends and family are happy with the result. So, how are we to navigate the conflicting emotions during the upcoming holidays when we will all be together for many activities and gatherings? How can my spiritual practice help me in these times of deep polarization?

For the last 8 years, I have witnessed the gradual withdrawal from those who hold different political views and, in some cases, the complete cutting of ties of family and friendship. I am seeing that same tendency now in my personal life, my work relationships, and on social media. People are actually saying “Unfriend Me” if you voted a certain way.

Friends and family that I have avoided in the past, or met with but avoided certain topics when we are together, still deserve my respect and my attention. So, my practice is drawing me in the opposite direction. Rather than cutting others off in my life, creating more bad feelings, separation, and polarization, I have decided to reconnect with those I may have “marginalized,” if not physically, then in my thoughts and feelings.

From Mr. Rogers:

“We get so wrapped up in numbers in our society. The most important thing is that we are able to be one-to-one, you and I with each other at the moment. If we can be present to the moment with the person that we happen to be with, that’s what’s important.”

If we are to heal the divide in our country, in our relationships, in our family, and within our own conflicted mental landscape of thoughts and feelings, we need to understand the reasons people believe what they do, and the processes that lead to those beliefs and feelings. We cannot do that by walling off half of our country and half of our families or half of our own mind. On the contrary, we need to engage with others with respect, openness, and a willingness to listen deeply enough to hear the wants and needs, fears and desires, that underlie an outward position for or against certain positions.

On Wednesday, when I got up and heard the election results, I had to stop for a moment and reset my mind. Looking out my window, I noticed the sun, rising in the East, as it has done for eons. I realized that Mother Earth is witnessing all that is happening in our human world with openness and equanimity. The earth will survive for many more thousands of years, after this period of polarization and turmoil is over. It is humans that have to worry about survival, not the earth. And, we cannot survive alone or divided. We need each other to survive, day-to-day, and in the long term.

Our spiritual practices lead us to understand that ALL beings want to be well and happy in their lives. Working together, we can make that happen. Keeping ourselves apart from others will make that goal more difficult for all. Let’s see what we can learn in the next four years that will help us to make our lives, our country, and the world a better place for all who share this earth.