Improvisation

My Son is an Improviser. I am a Buddhist.

My son gets together with a group of other improvisers for performances and, with the mere suggestion of a topic, they perform a 30-minute show that can be happy, hilarious, touching, or sad; without ever knowing what they will say or do before they begin! This seems incomprehensible to some of us (like me). Surely, they must have some ‘canned bits’ rehearsed; in reserve; memorized; or some such things, that are sort-of universal, that they can pull out and use in any scene, at any time. Right?

Not so! They don’t know what the topic is going to be when they begin. They don’t rehearse and remember special bits that can be inserted at the appropriate time (if such a thing even exists). They never know what their partners in this scene are going to do or say. They just make it ALL up as they go along. Yet, with practice, it is seen by the audience as a seamless work that appears to have been rehearsed ahead of time.

How DO they do it?

When I first started meditation practice, I thought I was practicing to become enlightened. Then everything would become clear. I would understand the world, my place in it, and be at peace. My understanding has grown a bit since I started practicing. I have learned something about what meditation is and about what enlightenment is not.

As one of my teachers says, “The sole purpose of meditation is to interrupt our habitual patterns, so the underlying qualities of our original nature can manifest.” That is the purpose of meditation. It took me a long time and a lot of practice to understand this.

But what happens when you start to interrupt your habitual patterns of thinking and reacting? We begin to realize that we have been rehearsing everything we do in life before it happens. Sometimes this is conscious; like when you are going on an interview, or when you have to break up a relationship, ask for a raise, fire an employee, etc. But, most times, this is unconscious. We behaved a certain way in the past. It worked for us in some manner. So, we unconsciously repeat the same behavior in future actions, reinforcing the tendency to repeat that behavior or response, and building on our repertoire of habitual reactions to life’s experiences.

We are living rehearsed lives and thinking we are improvising, when that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

So, as we begin to interrupt our habitual patterns, our world gets changed. We see others around us reacting to us with the same habitual patterns we recognize from the past. But, for us, it is like we are thrown into the middle of an improv scene without being willing to rely on our old patterns. We find ourselves continuing to make up this scene called life, right in the present moment, without relying on canned bits or rehearsals, and we are in wondrous amazement that life can be lived with this level of simultaneous insecurity and freedom.

This is where enlightenment comes in. Or I should say “awakening.”

Awakening is more of a process than some fixed state you achieve, like enlightenment. I can’t really say what enlightenment is, or if it even exists. However, I do know that awakening can happen. As our habitual patterns of thinking and reacting fall away, we are able to connect more easily with the underlying qualities of our original nature, like: openness, creativity, kindness, and clarity. As these qualities begin to manifest more in our lives, we are able to see our experiences more clearly. We become able to respond to situations in new and more helpful ways, rather than drawing on our old rehearsed reactions. We find that we connect more easily with others. We can create the open space for them to be more authentically themselves in all situations. We have more equanimity with most things that come our way, and we are able to react in ways that allow continued openness, creativity and connection with others, rather than building habitual reactions that isolate us from others and our own true nature.

Improvisers need to be open to whatever arises in a scene. They need to be creative with their responses. They need to be kind and supportive of the others in the scene, or it will fall apart. They need to have clarity on what they are bringing to each moment of a scene. You never just say something to fill the dead air space. You let the clarity of your presence speak into that space.

So, I guess I would say that as I continue my meditation practice, I am becoming more like my son, the Improviser: becoming a good (or at least decent) improviser; able to deal with whatever comes my way with a deep sense of equanimity and acceptance. This is a continuing process of awakening. And, in that continued awakening, I find that I am experiencing more of those qualities of openness, creativity, clarity, and kindness in my life. So, when I “flub” a line in life, I can be kind and compassionate with myself, knowing that some of my friends (and you are ALL my friends) will carry the scene for me until I can find my clarity again.

Enlightenment then, I believe, is when you can be just like my son: fully present to your experience, responding spontaneously, and having a lot of fun while you are doing it.