Letting Go & Forgiveness

We have talked about how our meditation practice is a process of letting go:

• Letting go of the desire to hold on to or cling to some thoughts and feelings.
• Letting go of the need to reject or suppress other thoughts and feelings.
• Letting go of the habitual patterns that we become aware of in the mind.
• Letting go of the expectations of how our practice (and our life) should be.
• Letting go of the guilt, regret, and remorse that often occupy the mind.
• Letting go of self criticism for not being perfect in every way.
• Letting go of the ego’s activity that keeps the mind busy with ‘mindless’ activity.
• Letting go of the desire for our current experience to be anything other than what it is in this moment.

When you read this list, you may discover certain thoughts or feelings arising in the mind:

• You may want to bring up more pleasant thoughts that you can hold on to for the moment.
• You may reject the whole concept of meditation as letting go because it seems to hard.
• You may recall the many habitual patterns that still seem to control your life.
• You may become sad that your expectations don’t live up to your reality.
• You may feel regret that you have spent so much time practicing without becoming enlightened.
• You may begin to criticize yourself for the lack of effort or diligence in your spiritual life.
• You may find the mind wandering away from reading this to avoid the work of understanding.
• You may want to be having any other experience than the uncomfortable feeling you have in this moment.

In other words, we may start to judge ourselves against all the possibilities in the list, thinking this is definition of a perfect meditator or a perfect person: One who can let go of whatever disturbs the mind.

But, that list is not a list of rules or a definition of good meditation, it is a list of intentions for our practice. Skillful actions we can engage with that will, over time, pull back the veil of the ego and reveal to us the spacious, compassionate, and sacred being that we have always been. So, we don’t want to judge ourselves against this list. We use this list to inform the direction of our practice and our activities in daily life.

So, now, forgive yourself if you felt that you did not measure up in any way.
Gently repeating a phrase in your mind like:

“I forgive myself for not being smart enough.”

“I forgive myself for thinking I am not good enough.”

“I forgive myself for sometimes acting without considering others feelings.”

“I forgive myself for judging my self worth.”

“I forgive myself for needing the approval of others.”

When you repeat these words in your mind, recognize the tension you feel around that self-criticism, engage with the felt sense of forgiveness, relaxing the mind and body, and letting the power of forgiveness soften your reactions.

Repeat as necessary.