Forgiveness – Acceptance – Gratitude

The teacher, Delson Armstrong, has said that Forgiveness and Self-Acceptance are essential for the development of Loving-Kindness and Compassion. Our practices allow the qualities of loving care to emerge from connections with a benefactor in a caring moment. However, we are unable to fully evoke the qualities of loving-kindness and compassion if anger, resentment and regret are blocking their full expression. We experience a subtle inner tension resulting from holding on to grudges resulting from slights, injustices, and betrayals. Forgiveness practice brings the felt sense of forgiveness and acceptance into our awareness, relaxing and releasing the inner tension, allowing a fuller expression of love and compassion to emerge.

So, in Forgiveness practice, we start with ourselves. The first phrase we usually use (and, in some way, the only true cause of suffering) is, “I forgive myself for not understanding.” For most of our lives we were unaware that learned habitual patterns of thinking and reacting are the cause of our suffering in life, preventing us from fully accessing our true nature. The Forgiveness practice is the first gateway or portal to becoming open to our deepest goodness, the natural open and compassionate nature of mind. Once we can sense the feeling of forgiveness for ourselves and accept it into every part of our being, we are ready to extend that forgiveness to those who may have hurt us in some way, intentionally or not.

It is important in Forgiveness practice to understand that we are not releasing the other, the forgiven one, from any consequences of their actions. That is the process of reconciliation which takes at least two parties to negotiate. We are practicing forgiveness only for ourselves, as a kind of wise selfishness. Holding on to any negative emotions, those that cause us pain and suffering, is like pulling the curtain covering our true nature tightly closed. They hold the mind in a habitual pattern of reactivity that veils our greater goodness. Every time we can release our guilt within and grudges with others we begin to pull the curtain back, so the light of our true nature illuminates our thoughts, words, and actions.

We can end any Forgiveness practice with a moment of Gratitude. We can be grateful that we have the ability to forgive and release ourselves from the grip of anger, resentment, and regret. We are grateful for the teachings we have connected with and for those who help us on our spiritual path.

Here is a link to the forgiveness practice offered by Doug Kraft: Forgiveness Practice